How Do You Get Others To Like You When Your Own Family Doesn't?

It has been my life's experience to be strong, to overlook the evil that has been repaid me for my kindness, the support giver, the fighter, the protector, the who one everyone runs to when they need bailed out or a prayer to comfort them. To be the bigger person, to compromise my desires and hopes just to have those that I love and care about in my life-my family. But when I find myself in need of comfort and support from them there is none. Instead I am met with only judgmental attitudes and the digging up of old bones that have long past from my life. Or, they go fishing in the sea of forgiveness to bring insult and injury back into my life-at least that is what happened until I got revelation that I am the one who controls my own offense.
They have overlooked the faithfulness that has been displayed through my being there when they reached out to me. Now that is my time to reach out to them I am greeted in return with no communication, no compromise, no understanding and above all no feeling of the love I feel for them, being returned. I am an after thought when all those that they have put their faith in has left them high and dry. Now as in times past they have often stated that I deserted them, abandoned them or simply walked out on them. But the truth is that they did all these things to me before I decided to leave. I have not forgotten them, or disowned them, I have simply decided for my own protection to keep them at arms length. I love and miss them, desire to have a relationship with them but not at the cost of my sanity. You can not make someone love you who does not. You cannot make someone like you who does not. And you cannot make a selfish person care about you when all they see is themselves. And, most of all if they have unforgiveness in their hearts toward you-you cannot expect them to speak words of kindness to you because there is simple too much bitterness, anger and resentment in their hearts. They are hurting themselves just as much or more than they are hurting you!

It doesn't matter if we have spent fortunes on them that most people have never had, and have repeated this more than once. It doesn't matter if you lose house and any everything you had trying to help them-they will take what you have to offer without thought of where you will end up. You know how it goes, you have friends that you did not know you had when you are on top, and find out just how good a friend they are when you are in need of something. They are not friends at all. They are ungrateful, unforgiving and self-seeking people. So truly, how do you reach out and let a stranger become a friend when those that are family have broken you?

Often considered the black sheep of the family because of my Christianbeliefs, trying to walk in the forgiveness statement of the Bible to forgive seventy times seven and discovering that I am running out of desire to continue to place myself in those same situations over and over again. Then I gain revelation and understanding that it is not required of me to do so. I can forgive and not associate-but forgive none-the-less. This forgiveness is for my personal benefit that I do not carry the bitterness, anger, resentment, betrayal and broken trust forward with me into my future. Doing this all while gaining a renewed understanding of how great the love of Jesus really is. Taking thousands of steps to afford them the opportunity for trust to be re-established only to find that I have been rejected again. It is not their rejection that I am concerned about but the rejection of my Lord Jesus and heavenly Father whose desire is that I have a hope and a future. Their meaningless activities are of more importance than establishing fellowship and companionship. In order to establish lasting relationships with other's who values the thing you do, one must first discover one's values, what one will compromise, what one is seeking and what motivates one to seek it. In other words, in order to have other's like you-you must like yourself. I desire not to argue over views of what I have done for others or did not do for another-the past is the past and if forgiveness has been asked is under the blood of Jesus. In some instances to heal and get over the pain and stop the arguing I came to the revelation that there is a recorded book of all that I have done, spoken and not done in heaven and on the day it is revealed the accusations and deception will be reveal and there will be no disputing them. Jesus is the only one who has never left nor forsaken me and I do not believe that He will leave or forsake me now.

When I fall, He gives me the strength to get up and try again. When my thoughts are full of misleading and deceptive thoughts He gives me clarity. When my heart tells me I want the things that hurt me the most, He shows me real compassion through a total stranger whose desire is to lift me up and not tear me down. When I need a friend all I have to do is to call upon His name and I know that He is instantly with me from the calm that comes when the storm is raging all around me. When I ask Him to help me with the things that I have absolutely no understanding of, suddenly there is a thought to do something that I have not tried before or have not been given a complete understanding from those that were offering their assistance. It is then that I find what I was trying to accomplish is simplified. What was once hard and escaped my understanding is now so clear that I cannot believe that I could not or did not see it before. A revelation of truth that brings with it such comfort, joy and a release from all the frustration that the situation had presented beforehand. He through His Spirit will draw those unto you that He is placing in your life. Some of them will be for a season and other's for a lifetime-but He will reveal which is which. Be guided by the leading from within and the parting will not bring such disappointment as you have experienced in the past. It does not mean that some will not be missed but when thought about the rememberance will bring joy and not sorrow that they were a part of you life.

In the teaching of Jesus it is told that when you have done all that you can to resolve a situation with persons that there comes a time to dust the sand from your feet and move on. If the relationships that we are in are hindering our growth and holding us back in certain areas of life, then we must come to an understanding that they are not healthy relationships and remove ourselves from them, and if we cannot remove ourself from them-it is important not to concentrate on another as far a praying for our heavenly Father to change them, but for Him to change and strengthen us in His love to endure. And, no, I am not talking about remaining in an abusive relationship whether the abuse is physical or mental or otherwise considered verbal. These are diffently unhealthy and unsafe environments and should be gotten out of.

We must also begin tearing down the walls that we have built in order to protect ourselves and that have brought hindrance into our lives. This does not mean that we jump from the frying pan into the fire, it simply means that we must be guided by truth. We must look at the world through the eyes of the One who has all understanding and knowledge, and see things as He sees them. Walk in His instruction as He leads us to pursue or retreat from a person, persons or situation. Seek and you will find, knock and it shall be opened unto you, ask and it shall be given -- truth--wisdom --understanding. As you were born into a physical family - you too can be born into a spiritual family through the Lord Jesus Christ coming at your invitation into your heart. Ask and receive His forgiveness, learn who He is, following His Spirit leading you with truth and revelation.

It is as simple as saying, "Enough is enough", and desiring a change in thought, perceptions and understanding that you were never designed or created to do it without His love, His help, His provision, His protection, His wisdom, His knowledge, His blessing and His forgiveness. It is a change of the heart, an understanding of your choices and letting your thoughts be guided by thoughts that come from a Higher source than one's self that will begin to allow healing, restoration and true friendships to come into your life. You can not make someone love you who doe not. But, "God so loved the world ( you,first) that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him shall have eternal life (Spirit Filled Life Bible)." John 3:16. And, my friend, you and me are a whosoever! He will be a friend when no friend can be found, and He will guide you to friendships that bring joy, peace and happiness into your life!